So, for the past month or so I’ve been in a funk. It’s not pleasant or cute or fun. Not for my Mom, not for A, not for me, not for anyone.
I think I can attribute this funk to a general floundering that was occurring in my life. I felt a bit unstable, a bit depressed and a lot lost. And since I just love talking about my feelings (please not the sarcasm) I stayed in this general state for much longer than I would have liked.
I’m normally a very positive, bubbly (as described by a former employer), upbeat and busy person. I like having plans and staying busy. I like being social and hanging out with friends. I also love my alone time with some wine and a book.
But I wasn’t even getting pleasure out of good books. I was snippy all the time. I felt so negative. I was just a depressed mess and I knew I had to snap out of it or I would start really hurting the people I love.
It took some tough love… especially from A. He was always encouraging, but also very tough. It took a few talks from him, a few attitude checks from my mom and a general feeling of disgust with myself but I think I’m finally out of the funk.
The fog has cleared, the sun is shining and the choir is singing!
Ok, that might be a bit dramatic, but I feel so good.
I feel like I’m back on the right track. I attended a huge diabetes research summit this past weekend that really encouraged me.
I loved being in a setting where I was learning (I think I need to go back to school!) and I took some of that information that I learned and am now proactively using it.
How? Well, one of the studies a researcher at the summit was talking about is a study called DiaPep277. Without getting too involved into the details, DiaPep277 is a synthetic peptide that is thought to slow down the progression of Type 1 diabetes through blocking the destruction of beta cells. It’s obviously still in clinical studies so it may or may not work for me, but the fact that I may be a part of this huge study is absolutely amazing. I spoke to the doctor in charge of the study in DC this morning and because this study is for newly diagnosed patients within the last six months and my six month mark is in less than a month, he wants to get me in tomorrow for a qualification screening.
And even if I don’t get accepted into this study, this is just the first step in getting involved in new and innovative diabetes studies. It’s a great feeling to know I might be helping advance diabetes research in some way.
I’ve also been talking with some really great people online in the diabetes community, which has really helped boost my spirits. One of the biggest factors that has led to this funk is the lack of seeing my friends on a regular basis. I get it. Everyone is busy. And it doesn’t help all of my friends live pretty far away. But I’m going to a meetup next week and potentially have one tonight, which is really exciting. If I can meet new people, especially people with diabetes, I know I’ll feel even better.
Also, I’m moving! To somewhere a lot closer to civilization. Into my own apartment! I found the place a month ago and have been itching to move. Especially recently when the dogs start playing on the floor above me at 5:30 in the morning and wake me up. Having my own space will be a great thing and I’m really looking forward to it. I get the keys this weekend! Weee.
So, I’m in the process of packing. What a pain. But the thought of moving makes it so worth it. That and wine. And mini dance parties. Which I had in my room the other night while packing.
Actually, on said night, I had the same song on repeat for about two hours. Kind of loud. But my roommate had his door shut so I didn’t think he could hear, until he mentioned last night that he was really annoyed with the song by the end of hour two.
Whoops! When I move into my new place I can have the same song on repeat for four hours! And no one will tell me how annoyed they were!! 🙂
Anyway, I just feel like I’m figuring out what I want in my life right now. I went through a funk and had to battle some depression to get to this point, but I feel so good. I feel like I’m back to my positive self and I know a few people who will love that too.
“I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned”