Perspective

April 4^th… the last time I posted! What. The. Heck.

Ok, I really can’t get that upset about it. I have been busy. But I also haven’t been that busy. I’ve been going through a lot of stuff lately and I kind of checked out of a lot of things in my life. But I’m back.

To update everyone on the biggest piece of news in my life as of late, I got a new job! I’m now working at an IT Recruiting company called Jobspring Partners as their Marketing Specialist. What does that entail? A lot of Twitter and tech blogs. Also a lot of meetups and organization. It’s a lot of fun and definitely a great job to get my foot back into the marketing and public relations world. I’m really just trying to learn as much as I can and have fun with everything.

In addition to being crazy busy at work, I’m also trying to self-improve. I’ve spent a lot of time annoyed at frivolous things and a lot less grateful than I should be. I have an amazing life. I was going through a rough period for a while with a few relationships, including the relationship I have with myself, but I feel like I’m starting to get back on track with everything.

Sometimes you need to just take a step back, stop and re-evaluate.

That’s what I did. It wasn’t pretty what happened after. A mental smack in the face and I hit the ground running with a “goals” list. Mostly, I wanted to get back to my positive, go-getter self. So I made a list of things I want to accomplish including cooking more (when did I stop?!), exercising more, cleaning regularly, reading, blogging. I also made a list of the positives in my life. I made a list of things I was going to do to develop deeper relationships with the people in my life. I made a list of my flaws, and yet another list about how to cope with those “flaws.” My goal through all of this is to be more at peace with myself and happier. I’m already well on my way.

To go with my new life goals, I’m reading “The Happiness Project” stolen from my Mom. If you haven’t read it, it’s about a woman who spends a year doing things to improve her happiness. That’s the extreme basic premise of the book. The bigger point I think she is trying to make is that a lot of people lead really great lives but spend so much time getting caught up in the tiny, unimportant details. They get bogged down in their unhappiness when it should be the opposite. I’m only a few chapters in but have already taken so much away.

And to end, a quote by one of my favorite actresses, Zooey Deschanel. Perfectly fitting.

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all – look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.”

Jamaica’n Me Crazy- Wordless Wednesday

Fondly remembering my Jamaica trip over New Years… Everyone needs a happy place and I’m there today!

Spring Has Sprung

I’ve tried several times to write a new post. But life has been busy. And I haven’t been feeling all that in the “writing” mood. I’ve been more in the “get outside and enjoy the weather” or “time to do all this stuff around the apartment that you’ve been putting off” or “I’m too tired from work because I’ve been killing my eyes reading small numbers all day” mood.

But I’m here now… and will give you a peek at what I’ve been doing around the new apartment.

After a hectic few weeks, I’ve finally spent some time with my furniture and some spray paint. Feeling inspired and creative, I’ve come up with a HUGE list of other projects I want to complete, so pictures are sure to ensue. Maybe even some step by step guides for some of my cooler projects.

I love crafting.

These pictures show the cool parts of my apartment. Not the big pile of clothes on the floor of my bedroom where my dresser will go once I get it. Until then, my dresser is a big corner of my floor. It’s not attractive, trust me.

I took a lot of random pictures, but they include a pretty sweet colorful rug I picked up at A.C. Moore for $5. I put that baby in my kitchen by the sink… where I seem to spend a lot of time washing dishes and killing ants.

My flowers and plants have been doing really well in my apartment. Probably because of the insane amount of light that streams into the living room. My once dead plant is now healthy and alive and so green! That makes me very happy.

The biggest project I had going on was a corkboard in my kitchen. There was a lot of white wall space in my kitchen that I knew needed to be filled, so I decided to do a corkboard. I picked up four tiles, instead of one huge corkboard because I thought it would be more visually appealing. I took it a step further by picking up some pretty scrapbook paper and attaching it to two of the corkboards.

The end result looks awesome and is totally functional for hanging keys, bills, grocery lists, receipts, pictures, whatever. Functionality is my favorite!

This past weekend, I worked on an old lamp and lamp shade as well as some vases and my end table in my living room.

Things are shaping up and starting to feel more and more like mine. Now if I just had a little puppy running around…

Wordless Wednesdays

What I wouldn’t kill for this Toffee Crunch cupcake. I would eat these with reckless abandonment if I didn’t have to worry about diabetes, weight gain or dying from ecstasy.

As a side note: I’ve been away from my blog for almost a month! I needed a little time to get things in my life organized and settled, so I’ll be back to regular posting next week!

I Moved!

That’s all!

Exciting and busy this past weekend setting up my digs. Of course, A and I decided to move everything on the day it RAINED!

Friday started out ominous with overcast, gray skies but from the weather report, no rain! And then, it came.

But, there was no way I wasn’t moving. We loaded up A’s truck and my car with everything, covered the stuff in the truck with a tarp and braved the rain in the half hour drive to my new place. I was a nervous wreck the whole time!

We made it, though. The rain had stopped and we just had to work through our hunger pangs to get everything inside. It was a long night, but I was so glad to get into my new place finally. Knowing I was moving for the past month was exciting yet tedious because I just wanted to do it already.

I spent the weekend cleaning, napping, attending an unconventional wedding and organizing. My parents came to visit on Sunday and brought lots of home goodies to help start my apartment. My Mom, the master organizer, also took charge and helped me with furniture placements and my Dad, the master of tools, hung up some curtain rods.

I finished my Ball jar project! I put lentils, oat meal, gluten free flours, coconut, cocoa, Chia seeds, Flax seeds and all of my other loose dry ingredients into cute Ball jars for easy storage.

I was a little bit sad to see my parents go. My eyes teared up a little bit. But then I remembered my fabulous apartment, turned the music up and got to cleaning. I mopped and scrubbed. I took out some decorations, set up my bedroom, cleaned up my closet and then watched Never Been Kissed. 

Here are some pics of my apartment before I moved:

My Kitchen!

Living Room

A made amazing omelets for the first meal in the apartment… (check the makeshift table made out of my nightstand)

More pictures to come once I set up some more!

Big Things Are Happening!

So, for the past month or so I’ve been in a funk. It’s not pleasant or cute or fun. Not for my Mom, not for A, not for me, not for anyone.

I think I can attribute this funk to a general floundering that was occurring in my life. I felt a bit unstable, a bit depressed and a lot lost. And since I  just love talking about my feelings (please not the sarcasm) I stayed in this general state for much longer than I would have liked.

I’m normally a very positive, bubbly (as described by a former employer), upbeat and busy person. I like having plans and staying busy. I like being social and hanging out with friends. I also love my alone time with some wine and a book.

But I wasn’t even getting pleasure out of good books. I was snippy all the time. I felt so negative. I was just a depressed mess and I knew I had to snap out of it or I would start really hurting the people I love.

It took some tough love… especially from A. He was always encouraging, but also very tough. It took a few talks from him, a few attitude checks from my mom and a general feeling of disgust with myself but I think I’m finally out of the funk.

The fog has cleared, the sun is shining and the choir is singing!

Ok, that might be a bit dramatic, but I feel so good.

I feel like I’m back on the right track. I attended a huge diabetes research summit this past weekend that really encouraged me.

I loved being in a setting where I was learning (I think I need to go back to school!) and I took some of that information that I learned and am now proactively using it.

How? Well, one of the studies a researcher at the summit was talking about is a study called DiaPep277. Without getting too involved into the details, DiaPep277 is a synthetic peptide that is thought to slow down the progression of Type 1 diabetes through blocking the destruction of beta cells. It’s obviously still in clinical studies so it may or may not work for me, but the fact that I may be a part of this huge study is absolutely amazing. I spoke to the doctor in charge of the study in DC this morning and because this study is for newly diagnosed patients within the last six months and my six month mark is in less than a month, he wants to get me in tomorrow for a qualification screening.

And even if I don’t get accepted into this study, this is just the first step in getting involved in new and innovative diabetes studies. It’s a great feeling to know I might be helping advance diabetes research in some way.

I’ve also been talking with some really great people online in the diabetes community, which has really helped boost my spirits. One of the biggest factors that has led to this funk is the lack of seeing my friends on a regular basis. I get it. Everyone is busy. And it doesn’t help all of my friends live pretty far away. But I’m going to a meetup next week and potentially have one tonight, which is really exciting. If I can meet new people, especially people with diabetes, I know I’ll feel even better.

Also, I’m moving! To somewhere a lot closer to civilization. Into my own apartment! I found the place a month ago and have been itching to move. Especially recently when the dogs start playing on the floor above me at 5:30 in the morning and wake me up. Having my own space will be a great thing and I’m really looking forward to it. I get the keys this weekend! Weee.

So, I’m in the process of packing. What a pain. But the thought of moving makes it so worth it. That and wine. And mini dance parties. Which I had in my room the other night while packing.

Actually, on said night, I had the same song on repeat for about two hours. Kind of loud. But my roommate had his door shut so I didn’t think he could hear, until he mentioned last night that he was really annoyed with the song by the end of hour two.

Whoops! When I move into my new place I can have the same song on repeat for four hours! And no one will tell me how annoyed they were!!

Anyway, I just feel like I’m figuring out what I want in my life right now. I went through a funk and had to battle some depression to get to this point, but I feel so good. I feel like I’m back to my positive self and I know a few people who will love that too.

“I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned”

“Cheers to the Freakin’ Weekend”

Yep, I just quoted a Rihanna song. Get over it. You love her too!

This past weekend was amazing though. Seriously! I’m still cheers’ing to it and it’s Tuesday!

Saturday I attended the JDRF T1D Research Summit in Bethesda, MD with A and it was a really inspiring day filled with laughs, tears and everything in between including great people and conversation. All about diabetes.

 

 

 

 

 

It was great!

The biggest message I got out of the conference was that a lot of great work is being done in researching diabetes. There are tons of studies, a lot of theories and some seriously smart people working to find answers to big questions. But, while I know that there are a lot of people working hard to get funding for research and to get new technologies passed through the FDA, there are a lot of challenges and unanswered questions.

Thirty years ago, doctors were confident that there would be a cure for diabetes in five or ten years. Everyone I talk to tells me there will be a cure in the next ten years. One thing this conference made me confident of was that there won’t be a cure for diabetes until we find out what causes diabetes.

And to be honest, I’m pretty sure no one is even close to figuring out the answer to that question.

There are a lot of theories. Really good ones too that make a ton of sense. At least to me. But no one knows if these theories are actually fact. And until some smart person can pinpoint the exact cause of diabetes, us diabetics will have to rely on ever improving technology to control our blood sugar.

Which leads me to the next biggest take-away from the summit. Technology. There are so many people working toward making diabetes a disease that is easier to live with. The Artificial Pancreas project is in full swing with an end goal of creating a closed loop pump system. A closed loop pump system, in layman’s terms, is an insulin pump that does the work for you. Instead of you adjusting your insulin doses and trying to figure out how exercise, rice, sex and ice cream are going to affect your blood sugar, your pump does the work for you.

There are a lot of stages that need to be developed before having a closed loop pump system, but researchers are slowly working towards that end goal.

And as an FYI, pumps in the U.S. (this is all according to the speaker) are at the first stage where pumps suspend insulin when blood sugar is low. Good, but not great. In other developed countries, pumps suspend insulin before a person goes low. Their system detects a low and suspends insulin to prevent the low. Even better. Each stage of development is like this, with little advancements to make it easier to stay in the normal blood glucose range (which persons with diabetes spend 70% of their time out of).

Obviously, having a pump that suspends insulin before going low is a great device in helping to control hypoglycemia. So, why isn’t this technology available in the U.S. when it’s available in pretty much every other developed part of the world?

Hey, we can thank the FDA for that one. And maybe a few other big name profit seeking companies. Welcome to the American healthcare system!

This, of course, was another facet touched on by the JDRF themselves at the summit. Getting funding through the FDA for clinical studies and outpatient studies is harder than passing Calculus class (ok, maybe you could do it but I would have died if I hadn’t dropped that class!). Getting the FDA to approve new technologies to better the lives of Type 1 diabetics is about as easy as getting from DC to Baltimore fast on a Friday afternoon with three different accidents on the Beltway. It’s damn near impossible!

FDA… I could go on and on. But I’ll spare you.

But that leads me to one of my last take-aways from this conference (I actually have a ton but I could fill up pages and pages). The people. There were so many people, Type 1′s, Type 2′s and Type 3′s. It was amazing to see everyone come together in support to learn about diabetes and what can be done to further the research. I was experiencing a bit of diabetes blah before this summit, but after I felt inspired knowing what is happening in the community.

And one of my favorite parts of the day was meeting an elderly man, Type 2, who was at the conference giving away his extra testing supplies to those whose insurance didn’t cover their supplies. He was filled with stories that made me laugh and made me sad. He showed me what it looks like to not give up and to maintain a positive attitude.

As I mentioned earlier, A came with me to the summit. It was an early morning and a long day of diabetes stuff, so I wasn’t sure how into it he was going to be, but he was so interested. It was a really amazing feeling to see how supportive he is and how willing he is to learn about my disease. He’s always been supportive, don’t get me wrong, but to be so focused during a day devoted to diabetes talk. Not everyone could do that. In a way, we’ve dealt with this disease together. He’s been with me through the whole thing. It’s interesting to think about the progression of both our relationship and my diabetes. He is probably one of the best Type 3′s out there. He always listens to me when I’m having a hard time, asks me how I’m managing and is encouraging no matter what. Sometimes I only think about how I’m affected by diabetes, but I know he is too. It’s just in a different way. He tells me all the time how strong I am, but he’s just as strong.

The summit was an amazing and inspiring day and I am really looking forward to the next diabetes conference.

So, after the summit, A and I headed back to my house to get ready for my birthday celebrations, Round 2!

After cleaning, organizing, making food and doing last minute prep, we took a quick nap and got ready to party. Friends started arriving around 8:30 and the party was in full swing by 9. With lots of wine, food (our friend brought a delicious Brie with brown sugar and pecans on top!), dessert and music, I was having a blast. However, my blast ended around 1 when I was ready to lay in my bed and sleep for 12 hours. Which I did. Saturday night, when all of my friends (some of who I rarely see) came together, was the absolute best night.

23 was the best birthday I’ve ever had and I’m hoping my year is just as good!

And another ode to Rihanna’s song:

“Life’s too short to be sittin’ round miserable”

One Does Not Forget To Take Insulin Overnight

Unless you are me…

Ok, everyone is going to have to forgive the spotty blogging. This week has seriously been INSANE! I swear I’ve been on the go, go, go!

This past weekend I did birthday celebrations with my family, starting on Saturday night at Olives, a really nice Italian restaurant in Frederick, Maryland! The food was absolutely amazing with options like goat cheese stuffed chicken rolls, homemade lasagna and lamb meatballs.

Now, I was a bit anxious before heading to the restaurant with my family because I’ve pretty much cut out pasta from my diet. It’s just so carb heavy and I really can’t justify eating it, so I don’t. While I’ve managed to do well at home, it gets a bit tricky when over half of the menu at an Italian restaurant is a pasta dish.

Go figure.

On top of that, this girl forgot to take her morning insulin in the morning and didn’t remember until noon!

If you remember, I’m still honeymooning so I only need to take basal insulin (Lantus) in the morning (15u) and 4mg of Amaryl. But that insulin is crucial in helping me control my numbers.

As I later found out when I got a reading well into the 200s. Before I decided to really beat myself up over it, I reasoned with myself that I was out of my routine (slept at my parents house the night before and woke up much later than usual) and that it would come down if I just watched what I ate for the rest of the day.

And with that I skipped lunch, focusing on the 6pm dinner reservations.

By the time we got to the restaurant, my blood sugar was at a nice and cozy 113.

Still, there were all of those pesky pasta dishes with things like chicken parmigiana, creamy sauces and lots of cheese sitting on top.

After feeling pretty crappy about my health all day, I opted for a a pear and walnut salad and a big bowl of mussels and clams in a nice tomato sauce.

Which left me to consume my carbs in the form of birthday cake!

Sunday morning, my parents, brother and I went to one of my favorite spots in Baltimore City. We were the first ones in for brunch at 11am (the early bird gets the worm!) and it was so much better than I remembered (we went there for brunch last year on my  birthday as well!).

The buffet included waffles, French toast, sausage, cheesy eggs, everything eggs, bacon, baked salmon with couscous, chicken, pasta salad with steak slivers, steak, shrimp, smoked salmon (with an amazing aioli on top), potato salad with gorgonzola cheese, bagels, peach cobbler, salad (both green and fruit) and cupcakes. Also, unlimited mimosas (of which I partook in minus the OJ).

I filled up two plates of yummy food, despite being stuffed after my first plate. I filled up on my usual eats of the baked salmon, smoked salmon, half a bagel with cream cheese, a big helping of salad, shrimp and a tiny scoop of the potato salad.

My second dish consisted of more smoked salmon atop another half a bagel with cream cheese, fruit, a bite of eggs, some more gorgonzola potato salad and a small helping of the peach cobbler.

I was STUFFED! But when my mom suggested we try one of the cupcakes, I couldn’t resist. Even though we had a whole cheesecake with a decadent chocolate ganache waiting at home…

So, I went with my dad to pick out a total of three cupcakes: red velvet, vanilla with amaretto and a dark fudgy chocolate toffee.

My brother got two just for himself: dark chocolate marshmallow and the dark fudgy chocolate toffee.

After consuming two days worth of sugar, our server brought out a hot brownie fudge sundae with a birthday candle! (I just kept thinking, “NO MORE DESSERT, BUT I LOVE CHOCOLATE!”)

He sang me a little happy birthday song and left me to try and control myself from sticking my whole face into the delicious, warm, gooey brownie and rich vanilla ice cream.

Luckily, I had some helping mouths to eat their share of the sundae, so I wasn’t left with the burden of eating it all myself.

The horrors!!

Honestly, the only thing that kept me from eating the whole thing was this little thing called diabetes that seems to follow me wherever I go.

It’s like the pesky ex-boyfriend who won’t go away.

Except he usually does go away after you yell at him enough times that you don’t ever want to talk to him again.

I tried doing that with diabetes. It just resulted in a red face and high blood pressure.

Anyway, after I rolled out of the restaurant I took a nice little nap on my parent’s couch before packing my birthday presents up for the ride back to my house.

Of course, I couldn’t leave without having my parents sing to me one last time as I blew out three candles on my ginormous cheesecake. Why three you ask? 23 would have been too much. Plus, three is just a really good number. Very zen.

Then we all ate the tiniest pieces of cheesecake and I was sent home with half to be consumed in reasonable amounts per day.

I love birthdays. And chocolate.

Friday Ramblings

What’s up blog world? It’s been a busy, hectic week but today is FRIDAY! So, can’t really complain about that. Especially since it’s also the start of my birthday week (yes, I have a week!)

My birthday is actually on Monday, but I’m doing a bunch of birthday stuff this weekend with my family including dinner with my whole family Saturday night at Olives in Frederick, Maryland. I’ve never been, but as long as there is wine, I’m good to go! That dinner is actually more for my Grandma’s birthday, which is on Sunday, but I’ll be celebrating too!

Then, Sunday morning is brunch with my parents and brother at one of my favorite spots in Baltimore called Crush. They have the most amazing crushes (grapefruit, orange, pineapple) and the best sushi salad. One of the hardest parts about living in Northern Virginia is not being able to go to all of my favorite spots in Baltimore. The city really does have a unique vibe and a lot of amazing spots. Crush has a really airy, modern feel to it with intimate seating and lots of ambient lighting. I’m a little bummed though because I haven’t been since I was diagnosed with diabetes and I probably won’t be partaking in one of their famous crushes. I just can’t do the juice…

I think some champagne will be in order. It’s not everyday that it will be the day before my 23^rd birthday.

For a surprisingly busy weekend, I have nothing planned on my actual birthday. How lame. I may be going to a Korean spa with my best friend later in the day, but that’s still undecided.

Then it’s Valentine’s Day. I’m sure everyone is so psyched about that… A will most likely have to work, so I’m thinking about just baking some yummy treats and watching a movie.

Then, next weekend will be more birthday celebrations with all of my friends! Lots of laughing, story- telling and wine drinking will occur. And that’s all I want for my birthday!

So, in life news…

I’m moving! I found a cute little apartment that is being rented out by the owners. It’s behind their single family house, so it’s attached in some way, but separate. I have my own parking spot (under a covered car port!), my own entrance, my own everything! It’s all hard wood floors, full-sized kitchen (with an oven… one of my few requirements!), huge living room, decent sized bedroom and big bathroom.

I’ll be sad to leave my roommates and my little adopted children, but I’m excited to move on to the next phase of my life. I debated living with or without roommates, but after lots of conversations with my friends, I decided that living alone might be best. Especially since my potential roommates would be strangers from Craigslist, and while that worked out for me the first time, it might not be so nice the second.

I went to the endocrinologist this morning for my usual three month check. My feet are beautiful, my blood pressure is normal and my a1C is down! 7.6 to 5.4.

5.4!

I couldn’t believe it when she said it. Well, I could actually. I’m still honeymooning along, so my blood sugar has been pretty stable and easy to control with my medicine, diet and exercise. Still, good news!

However, my thyroid medicine had to be increased. Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling so sluggish lately?

Anyway, my body is just doing its thing… not fully functioning but doing good.

More news… my hair is no longer orange. If you read my last post, you know that I had a bad experience with some hair dye on Monday night. I went to a salon and got it fixed. Took a good two hours of sitting in the chair, but I came out with pretty blonde hair (a bit blonder than I would have liked) and only a tint of orange in some places.

And, I just want to give a shout-out to my boyfriend. He’s been so supportive and encouraging, especially these past few weeks as we both rode the stress roller coaster. We might be “running against the wind” but “we’re together like two hands of a prayer.” You’re the best!

Now, to get through the work day without going crazy! My parents have enticed me with movies and sushi to come to their house tonight and avoid bad weather (apparently snow is coming- I’ll believe it when I see it) as opposed to tomorrow. Argh… I wish I had a private jet. Then I would never have to face the nightmare that is the Baltimore-Washington corridor.

But I want sushi. Good thing I have no problem facing nightmares.

Hope everyone has a great Friday and an even better weekend! 

Brassy Blonde

That’s what happens when you try to put your own highlights in your blonde hair…

 

Must go get this fixed ASAP! I can’t walk around with orangey hair. Unacceptable.

 

I am always scared to do things with my hair. So why all of a sudden did I decide on a Monday night that it was a good idea to put in some box highlights?

 

These kinds of things always happen when I’m under a lot of stress or pressure. The last time was pink highlights during finals week.

 

I immediately regretted those. Just like I am regretting my new color today.

 

Lucky for me, I found a great color deal at a salon… now I am anxiously awaiting 10am so I can call and get an appointment in hopefully today.

 

Guess it could be worse: